My Dad

has just called and demanded a lift home. I laughed, and put the phone down. It's a Sunday night. He's probably been where i should be; Jumpin' Jacks nightclub. It wouldn't suprise me. Him and his wife like to take advantage of the £10 free bar and then whack the Champagne on ice for afterwards, classy. It drives me mad when i have to scrape round for money towards the end of the month just to fund my car's 1Litre engine, when those two might aswell be driving down the M6 with the roof down throwing money about, reinacting The Crystal Maze.
If you ever met my Dad, you'd laugh. You want reasons? I'll give you reasons. Actually, i'll give you a lengthy list:
1) He actually thinks he's 20.
2) The man wears Evisu jeans, Prada, Hugo Boss and owns far too much aftershave.
3) He drives a Range Rover Sport with blacked out windows
4) He's had his teeth whitened, HI SIMON.
5) Honestly, he is known by everyman and his dog!
6) He Owns a restaurant; even though he can barely make toast.
7) He has a canal side house, and a Barbie wife 12 years his junior, who has had several unsuccessful nose jobs. She still has a nose that looks like it's from the Middle-East, either that or it's been shaped with a T-square.
8) He thinks he's in a real life game of Monopoly. I wish i had that many houses.
9) All his music is pretty decent, it's laughable because it's strange.
10) He's 44 and has a 4 year old, urgh.
I'm not going to make him sound like an utter twat, i mean, he's a good Dad. I've got the biggest bed you've ever seen and he got me a balcony built onto my bedroom. I'm entirely thankful, true story. It comes in handy for a midnight cigarette anyway.
He leads about twelve lives, but i can't help but look upto him. I doubt i'm ever going to be as successful as my Dad, but i can always try.
He hates everything i do at the minute, it's funny. "Why're you getting tattoo's Beck?" Urr, because i fucking want them!
"Urghh, tongue piercings! You Lesbian!" No shit Sherlock! It only took you 18 years and 10 months to click on? Wow, you're fast!
I love him though, he's my Daddy. He's a bellend sometimes, but he's a banterous bastard. He traditionally makes me a Sausage sandwich every Sunday morning and makes me rate it out of 10. He's never gotten one ten to date, but still he strives on hoping for the day a 10 will eventually come; bless his soul.
He introduced me to Football, and we have an obsession with Cars and Technology. I actually love Cars too much, but i'm sure the man loves his iPhone more than he loves me sometimes.
Yup, i'm a Daddy's girl. It's true.
It's wierd though; i don't even live with him.